Billy Bob Thorton Negotiated Pipeline With Dead Cattle Barons
SPRINGDALE, MT- Fans at Billy Bob Thornton & The Boxmasters’ weekend concert said the performance turned strange when the actor-turned-musician appeared to begin formal negotiations with the afterlife over oil rights beneath Hunter’s Hot Springs.
Witnesses reported Thornton slipping offstage to arrange black candles around the drained pools, chanting into a microphone wired directly into a geothermal vent. The Boxmasters sustained 14 minutes and 32 seconds of feedback, a length one local attorney described as “the exact duration required to notarize a ghost mineral contract under Montana law.”
The ritual allegedly summoned Dr. A.J. Hunter, founder of the springs, alongside several deceased cattle barons. Audience members claim the ghosts produced glowing blueprints for a Texas-bound geothermal pipeline.
Thornton closed with Ring of Fire. A sulfur blast blacked out half the venue, set off tremors in Livingston, and left Paradise Valley wells tasting faintly of Bud Light.
“Best Boxmasters set I’ve seen,” said one fan, “and I was at the show where Billy Bob sold his soul to remodel a Holiday Inn Express.
