Bipartisan Prosperity Gala Celebrates "Most Dynamic Economy in History"

$10,000 Tickets Sell Out in Minutes

By Dick Marlow

NEW YORK — Congressional leaders from both parties gathered Thursday for the annual Prosperity Gala, celebrating what organizers called "unprecedented economic achievement" at Manhattan's Liberty Ballroom.

"The economy has never been more dynamic," said Senator Jim Bradley (R-TX), noting that major banks now offer reward points on overdraft fees. "We've turned financial hardship into opportunity."

Senator Michelle Cortez (D-CA) praised inflation as "motivating American families to embrace the gig economy," adding that the average worker now holds 2.3 jobs. "That's not struggle, that's diversification."

House Speaker Patricia Morrison highlighted housing affordability, noting that "more Americans than ever are choosing flexible living arrangements with roommates well into their 40s. We're seeing a beautiful return to communal living."

When asked about grocery costs doubling, Treasury Secretary Robert Chen said families should "think of it as doubling down on nutritional investment."

Tech investor Marcus Webb, attending his fifth gala, defended the $10,000 ticket price. "I know $10,000 sounds like a lot," he said. "But it's really an investment in understanding how well the economy is working."

Economists later confirmed the gala created four new jobs — all valet positions for senators.