Boozers vs. Burners Softball Charity Event Canceled Again
BOZEMAN, MT - The Annual Degenerate Alcoholics vs. Total Stoners Charity Softball Match announced yet another cancellation this year, marking the third consecutive year the game has been thwarted by the participants’ collective inability to remember the event’s details.
“We had everything ready – the bats, the balls, the snacks – but once again, both teams forgot the time and date,” said the event’s exasperated coordinator, whose name is also forgotten. “It’s becoming a bit of a tradition, really.”
The match, which has yet to see a single inning played, was intended to support a cause that none of the participants could quite recall. “I think it was for some charity... or maybe it was just for fun?” pondered one player, nursing what might have been a hangover or just a general state of confusion.
To combat this recurring issue, both teams have now committed to showing up at the field every day at 3pm for the rest of the year, just in case. “We figure if we’re there every day, we’re bound to catch the right one eventually,” slurred an optimistic team captain from the Alcoholics.
“Yeah, we just need to stay focused,” nodded a Stoners’ player, while spinning his 3rd gorilla finger sized joint of the day.
Despite the setbacks, organizers remain hopeful. “Sure, it’s frustrating, but it’s also kind of impressive. They forget every year, yet they’re determined to make it happen,” said the coordinator. “That’s dedication. Though we may move to the field behind the liquor store, just to be safe.”
Here’s hoping next year they’ll remember the reason for the match, or at least the right day. Until then, the daily 3pm vigil continues.
