Rock Stars of Catapalooza: How Geology Majors Saved the Day
BOZEMAN, MT- The Editor-in-Chief and Publisher of The Daily Poser had the good fortune of attending another wildly successful Catapalooza this past Friday—the annual Montana State University event dedicated to dividing the entire campus into a variety of cliques, destined never to meet anyone outside their interest bubble.
As the two most important Daily Poser principals stopped by the Duckworth booth, a sudden gust of wind swept through the MSU campus. The wind’s strength lifted the makeshift booth off the ground, sending it flying toward the “Christians for Premarital Sex” tent.
While both lightweight merino wool enthusiasts and sex-positive Christians were caught off guard, several onlookers jumped into action. “Quick, give me several mid-weight hoodies to lock this mother-jumper down!” yelled one attendee. But mid-weight merino wool layers proved no match for Mother Nature’s gusts. “God-damned Montana-grown merino wool!”
With the randy Christians offering only a dozen unused lambskin, natural-feel condoms, the tent was still airborne, threatening to take out a dozen other politically correct organizations and their booths. The sex-positive Christians went into overdrive, trying to blow up two condoms (or more) at once—but to no avail!
One quick-thinking college rock band member shouted, “Rock N Roll! The Geology Club—those dudes have the rocks that can anchor down a Duckworth booth, even if it’s made of the lightest merino wool imaginable, so comfortable from both the inside and outside!”
Within seconds of hearing the call to help, and with the speed of nerds adjusting their river shoes to ‘sprint’ mode, the Geology Club (all two of them) leapt into action. Armed with their favorite dolomites, basalts, and a variety of igneous rocks, the Geology Club members hastily weighed down the world’s lightest merino wool booth.
“There’s no booth flying away on my watch!” declared the socially awkward President (and Vice-President, Secretary, and Treasurer) of the MSU Geology Club, Leena Ovemore. “Maybe this will help our membership drive? We have free pizza and geology documentaries every Saturday, you know.”
And with that, the Geology Club of THE Montana State University saved the day. With their rocks and rock know-how, they managed to anchor the Duckworth booth once again. Duckworth resumed selling wool on a 90-degree day, and the Geology Club returned to being ignored—until someone needs their help on important shit, once again.
